Sunday, 26 July 2009

Down the plug hole!

Hello again and welcome back. If this is your first time, c'mon in.

Well, here in the Independent Republic of...., it's been a bit of a wash out, wind, rain, thunder and lightening. Too erratic for me to haul on my vacuum-packed beach shoes, but I know a group who would have been on the beach at the first glimpse of sunshine. The real Beachies; our Home Guard of stout men and women, 60+, tanned and armed with tightly rolled up towels tucked under their arms. Not for them the namby-pamby beach shoe, no, they hobble down to the water and don't even gasp as they reach the eye-watering height.

Beachies, I salute you. You are the ones that make Shoreham Beach great, not the summer BBQ's, the foreshore, or the key-swapping parties. It's you, every last one of you.

Now, I've a theory that young childrens' feelings are as strong as adults, and this week there was a eureka moment.


Bath time. Tom, our four year old, sits in the bath leaning miserably against the tiles. I bustle in and stop dead. Tom looks at me, pulls a glum face and holds up his finger.

Oh dear, have you hurt yourself?


What is it then?


I squint at his finger. Nothing. He points to a solitary human hair dangling off the end. 

It's a hair?!

All his friends are down the plug-hole.  He's very sad.

Come again?

You'll have to go and get them.

Erm.  When we pull the plug out, he can join them. Right, where's the soap?

No he can't. He's afraid of the dark. You have to go and get them.

Tom crosses his arms and stares at me. I recognise that look. It's called trouble.

Richard! Your turn to do bath time.

Parenting is all about learning. Today's lesson is on how to clean your bath.

And finally, according to the Beach News, the Highways Agency will be re-surfacing the top and bottom roads at almost the same time. It's going to be a scream. Good job we've got extra wide pavements.

Have a happy week and see you next Sunday.


  1. Overheard on Maldon High Street today "He's a bit of a prat. But then he's always been a bit of a prat and he knows that" Can Shoreham Beach subscribe to this philosophy?

  2. So once a prat always a prat?

    That would damn a few too many of us. Would prefer - he's a prat Mondays and Wednesday but fine on other days. Everyone knows where they are, and there's still hope for those of us who try to do a whole 7 days being pratfree. Having said that self-awareness is always a good thing - well almost always!