Monday, 5 October 2009

I'm not one to gossip, but..

Let's not mention it at all. Just forget that it ever happened. Let's imagine that we can step into a time machine, re-appear last Monday and this blog is coming out as promised. So, welcome to my blog. I hope you had a good (a-hem) week, and have enjoyed the wonderful weather. I did, abandoning Old Fort Road for a stroll along the beach where I was reminded of the year round holiday atmosphere. A perfect retreat from the hustle and bustle of daily life, particularly if you're a celebrity.
     Talking of which, have you heard the latest? I'm not one to gossip, but Chris Evans from Radio Two, was due to fly out of Shoreham Airport last April. Unfortunately it was on the day of the freak snowfall so all the planes were grounded. So off he goes for a bit of a wander and ends up on Shoreham Beach. He instantly falls in love with the place and orders a team of crack Estate Agents to find a bolt hole for him and his wife. A house was eventually found, demolished and a swanky new one built in it's place. Mr and Mrs Evans now live there happily ever after.

So what should we think? Let's bring in an expert.

"So, Holmes, what d'you make of it?"

"Well Watson, first we must examine the facts:
1. it snowed last April
2. Shoreham has an airport
3. Shoreham Beach is within walking distance of said airport
4. people of a certain arty disposition fall in love with Shoreham Beach
5. a house was demolished and another erected in its place.
6. said house has unusual amount of privacy, witness the gate."

"So, Holmes a private person of significant means has arrived on the beach. A celebrity would certainly fit the bill and Mr Evans is of an arty persuasion."

"Not so fast Watson, we must be careful to consider the case against."

"Which is?"

"No-one has ever seen him"

"A-ha! But no-one has seen Jesus for a while, doesn't mean he's not there."

     One celebrity who definitely was in Shoreham last week was Jonathan Miller. He was performing his, "An Audience with.." at the Ropetackle Centre. I first came across him as a child when he presented a great show on the human body and then later when he directed a controversial version of Rigoletto at the English National Opera. Although Sir Jonathan hates being described as such, he is a polymath, for whom no concept seems too hard to grasp. Despite his fearsome intellect, he talked to us as equals and was interested in listening to our views on his theories. For a few hours, we glimpsed the world from his point of view. It's one in which one is perpetually curious, and looking for the deeper meaning of things. Fascinating and strangely similar to that of our four year old.
     At the moment he's curious about wood chips. This curiosity leads him to stuff them in his pockets and bring them home. There they are put in the washing machine, spotted, sworn at and smuggled back into school, yet they mysteriously re-appear. I've decided to channel this curiosity in the direction of pebbles. The Victoria and Albert Museum are running a World Beach Project. It's a "global art project open to anybody, anywhere, of any age." The beauty of it is that the pebbles have to remain on the beach. Simple. Note to self, contact V&A to see if they're interested in a World Wood Chip Project.

Have a good week and see you next Monday - ish.

PS. Chris, if you're reading this, love the plants.


  1. Chris doesn't live on Shoreham Beach !

  2. Oh no! When did he move? I love that Man! Tom wants to be on his show.