Thursday, 1 April 2010

" You'll only do it once."

Hello and welcome to my blog. Nice to see you again.

I'm not going to keep you long because the sun's out and I don't want you to miss it.

Apparently we shouldn't be too gloomy about the weather because we're more likely to get snow at Easter than Christmas anyway. Whilst statistically that may be true, it's not really the point. Snow at Christmas is pretty and festive. If it shows up at Easter, it's a bit of a party pooper. So Mr/s Weathermen instead of sharing the statistics tell it as it is; it's a real pain in the butt and look miserable whilst you're at it.

Talking of misery, I've abandoned my intention to explain a nautical term a week in favour of something more pressing; a warning. WARNING: Don't fill a diesel car with petrol.

First time around, you'll be met with a sympathetic smile or story about the time they once did it. At some point you'll cheerfully be told, "you'll only do it once," and you'll eagerly nod in agreement.

Second time around is a whole different ball game. Financially it's still an own goal, but emotionally, it's a tad more complex. There are four stages before you reach acceptance; shock, disbelief, denial, and self-reproach. Humiliation comes when you have to go public. And you have to, I'm afraid, unless you can manage without a car. Before you open your mouth, prepare yourself for expressions of incredulity and intrigue. Don't be fooled by assurances that it could happen to anyone and God help you if want to be taken seriously for the next 24 hours. It won't wash because you're now officially an idiot. The AA man knows it, the mechanic knows it and your neighbours know it. Best go into self-imposed exile for a while and trawl through your bank statements identifying "efficiency savings". Failing that, check the use buy dates on your cans because you may not be able to afford fresh food for a while.

Third time around, sell the car.

I'll sign off now as I want to take a quick look at the sun before I continue trawling through our bank statements.

Have a wonderful Easter and see you next week.


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